Humbled

Okay ladies and gentlefolk...here it is.. I know it's been a while and for that I apologize, but hopfully it's worth the wait? Where to begin.
Let's start at the very beginning...a very good place to start...
Choir. Wow. Who'd a thunk it?
First let me say that I am honored and humbled to have been asked, and to have been a part of such a tremendous worship experience. When Derrick approached me about leading the choir, I thought... "Lord? Are You sure?" I didn't hear a no, so I said yes.. I was excited to be sure, but at the same time, here I was treading in new territory again.. "Thanks, God". And a very real part of me was second-guessing myself again, and in doing so, I was second-guessing the power of letting God work through me. Did I let it stop me? No. Did I once again learn something amazing in letting Him lead? Yes... Oh yes... About myself, and more importantly, about Him. When He wants something to happen...and he wants YOU to do it...doesn't matter if you've done it before, doesn't matter if you've done it a thousand times, somewhere buried inside of you is this wonderful little treasure trove of gifts placed by God that is ready for such a time as this.. He's just waiting for you to tap those resources that He so lovingly placed there for you that will enable you to do so much more than you ever dreamed.. and for HIS GLORY!!! He just needs the time to be right...and this was one of those times...Praise God!
Is this something that I keep learning? Yes it is.. The first time was a few months ago during the Beautiful series. Did I think I could sing that song? No... Did I feel embarassed to sing that song? Yes... Did it stop me? No.. I'm learning to hold on the reins and let His wild horse fly... And what came out of that was this newfound strength, courage, and confidence that I was blessed by HIM...by HIM, and yes, it's okay to flourish in those gifts given by HIM! And HE loves me as I am...not as the world may see me, but as I am, in my heart, and in my deep abiding love for HIm...How much more in awe am I that HE thought enough of me...simple me... to gift me in such a way that no man has ever influenced... I've never had a lesson, never wanted to...some of that is where my fear was to sing like that for people... this untrained, kind of wild voice that just breathes God... and where did that lead??
Next lesson, the choir.. Just when I had been touched by this love from Him, once again, He taught me to tap those resources that were lying dormant..gifts still wrapped in beautiful trappings...just waiting... And Derrick, once again, giving me a chance, to reveal more about myself I just didn't know. There we were at the first practice and I'm interacting, and loving on you people, and singing, and guiding, and I took a step back and went... "Oh My Gosh".. This feels so right.. God? Are you serious? I've never felt so at home.... it was easy... I loved every second of being with all of you... of working together to do something wonderful for my Father..
It was almost effortless, and yet there was so much joy being with you...just being with you... I was so blessed by each of you individually, your smiles, your excitement, your passion, your joy, wow, my cup runneth over! I sit hear trying not to cry, in thanks and praise for my wonderful Father who I know is crying out to me to find my place in this world, and take it...and know that He is with me every step of the way, and not to fear, because He is with me.. Did I think my Faith was big before? Yes, Do I think so now looking back? No... not nearly...do I want it to grow?? Desperately! I am ready to make Him proud of me, and to not lack the confidence that will lead me to greater things in Him... Apparently I have a problem with this area, or He wouldn't be driving it home so deeply, and for that I'm grateful, for in each new lesson comes greater strength and joy in growing as a person. And greater reassurance that He is there. He will carry me.
As for today, any of you reading this that was in the choir or was a part in anyway, let me say thank you for your willingness to serve in such a great way, thank you for your time, your heart, your love...thank you for being instrumental in teaching me something in return... and May I say, regardless of how awkward it may make some of you :) I love you all... I very dearly do... each of you was so special, in your kind words, in your excitement, in allowing me to lead you... thank you. Praise God for His great works. You all were so very awesome, and to feel that power at my back just drove me to a deeper place of worship, I was truly energized by your presence.

Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you...
But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true....

May God bless your days, and may you be learning to walk with Him as I am. Each and every day a new beginning.

Mama Lil' - 5!
World - 0