S.O.A.P. for 03/12/2009 Friends

S: Psalm 55:12-14
For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; Then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me how has exalted himself against me; Then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man, my equal; My companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God together in the throng.

O: David here reveals our hearts. He understands that our enemies can hurt us and they will, but in a way we can quickly recover from for there is no bond there. We can quickly recover from those kinds of attacks. The TRUE hurts come when we are ignored, betrayed, or hurt by someone we thought we could trust and someone we share the same walk with.

A: I do understand that as a part of human nature we are kinder to strangers than we are to those that are close to us. We give our best to strangers so they can think how kind and wonderful we are and see our "best side", and in a matter of moments we can bare ourselves, and "quit" trying so hard when it's someone we do know. Why is that okay? Why is it okay when it's someone we know, to immediately turn our backs on them , when we know that their character speaks more strongly that their intention was NOT how we may have taken it? Shouldn't we have more faith in those we DO know, rather than in those we don't?

We don't apply that to marriage, and to me , that is what a friendship is, a marriage. What is takes to get someone to "marry" you, or to bring you into their circle, is what it takes to STAY there. If we quit trying all of a sudden, and begin to let words slip just because, or pride come in the door because we want to see if we're "better", or feel that because I had a bad day, it gives me permission to "vomit" - how is that other person seeing us? Do they feel like we care? Do they feel like we have been faking it this whole time just to prove to OURSELVES that we could get them to like/love us?? Did we really like THEM to begin with?? What message are we sending unintentionally to those we say we care for?

Have I changed in MY fervor to BE someone's friend? Have I quit trying and am just waiting on the other party to do all the work now? DO I feel like I've done my part and it's all smooth sailing from here? Am I the one creating the division by sitting idly by and not helping to fix what might be wrong? Am I getting my hands dirty and being real to those I love, giving them the benefit of the doubt in times of misunderstanding because I know the depths of their hearts??!! Am I forgiving 70 times 7?? Have I shut people out wrongly, slamming doors in faces, without trying to fix it first? What kind of friend am I? What kind of friend CAN I BE?

P: Father God,
There is honesty is my words as I confess that I have been more kind to those I don't know well, and have turned my frustration and hurt towards the one's closest to me. I am truly sorry as those should be the one's I love the most and give my best to. This doesn't mean that we can't be "real" and help each other in times of need, and resolve problems together, it's more in how we go about it. Help me to have a pure heart in everything I do.

If I am a friend of You, dear Lord - how can I manifest that better to others? I shouldn't get "lazy" just because I know my friends will forgive me, and I shouldn't vomit on those dearest to me with the excuse, "it's just me and I'm going to have to deal with it". No, Lord, I now see that when I behave that way, it's THEM that has to deal with it, and if I've caused pain to those I care about, Lord I am truly sorry, and I pray that they forgive me as well. I shouldn't behave badly just because I think "they'll understand", or that I can apologize later. If it's something I could have prevented, I shouldn't be having to say I'm sorry.

Lord, this takes me back to where I talked with You about giving me reminders in my life to keep my focus on You. Help me to place those reminders, as You are revealing my need for them in so many ways! Remind me that my love is an action, and I must never think, "we've made it" and stop giving it out because I've achieved something. A house not tended to will slowly fall, pipes will rust, paint fade. I must remain steadfast in my friendships, thank You for revealing that to me!

Lord also, as SOON as an ill feeling befalls me, get my attention Lord!! So that I may release it to you before behaving unjustly, and before reacting poorly. Let me give it to YOU so that I may respond to the situation in love! Please help me put the brakes on so I may not let anyone down unintentionally, Lord. I have little eyes in my life that are ever watchful. Help me to be a good example, and help me to never behave in a way that allows them to see me as lesser than I should be. Lord I love you, and I am walking in Your way more and more each day, and it takes effort, but the result is so joyful, and so meaningful. Let me apply that to my friendships and marriage Lord! Father, most of all, I pray that you never permit me to be that friend that David was speaking of.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

And a friend's a friend forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
For the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go,
In the Father's hands we know
that a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends..
*Michael W Smith*